As the long Thanksgiving holiday comes to an end, I want to share a few of my observations from the last few days. (You may have a few of your own observations, but please don't share them with me.)
1. Stuffing is one of the tastiest foods in the history of food, and my stomach is apparently capable of holding about 17 pounds of it.
2. The PETA folks should take a chill pill and just try a little bite of turkey. I think they'd really like it! After all, if God doesn't want us to eat animals, why did He make turkeys with lots of juicy, delicious, nutritious white meat? And why did He make bacon-flavored pigs? Hmmm?
3. Caffeine is much cheaper than hiring a gardener. After consuming a pot of strong coffee and a 5-hour Energy Shot within a 2-hour period on Saturday, I eagerly raked every leaf on 2 1/4 acres. Then I pruned 36 trees and painted the house. (Okay, I was just kidding about painting the house.)
4. After consuming a pot of strong coffee and a 5-hour Energy Shot, a 50-year-old man is capable of sprinting 100 yards to the restroom in under 5.2 seconds.
5. This is actually more of a prediction than an observation, but I have a gut feeling that when the guys at Madera Waste Disposal pick up our trash on Wednesday, they're going to be pretty pissed about the 43 bags of leaves.
6. Getting motivated for the first workout after Thanksgiving was perhaps the most difficult task I've ever attempted--even harder than my 5.2-second sprint to the restroom.
HE HAS STRANGE POWERS
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1 comment:
you are funny. But not as funny as me.
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