Britney and Me

I have a fantasy about me and Britney Spears, and it's not of the titillating variety. It goes something like this: Britney and I are alone in an elevator when I turn to her and excitedly exclaim, "Hey, I know who you are!"

Obviously annoyed, she rolls her eyes in a gesture that clearly means, "Of course you know who I am. Everybody knows who I am."

At that point I say, "You were on the last episode of Cops, right? You're the inbred hillbilly crackhead from the trailer park who peed on yourself after the sheriff handcuffed you and your cross-eyed cousin, who also happens to be your boyfriend."

Then the elevator door opens and I walk away singing a Christina Aguilera song.

That would be so sweeeeet.