Be Sugar-Free Like Me

About six months ago, I stopped eating sugar. That's right, I completely ended my lifelong relationship with one of my favorite substances. Kicking the sugar habit was one of my New Year's resolutions for 2008, and I'm proud to say that I've survived six long months (and I mean LOOOOOOONG months) without one taste of chocolate-chip cookie dough or a single square of a Lindt dark chocolate bar, or a solitary crumb from a Costco maple-nut muffin, or even a tiny sip of a Starbucks Mocha Chip Frappuccino .

Has it been hard? Heck yes, it's been hard! And if I weren't the Amazing Markimus, I'm not sure I could have endured the constant temptation from evil sugar pushers who were determined to see me fail. ("Come on, Mark, one little taste of this coconut cream pie won't hurt you. Go ahead. I won't tell anybody.")

Giving up sugar was a risky move on my part because I usually avoid difficult New Year's resolutions. Most of my previous resolutions were easily achievable--and with good reason. You see, when people make resolutions that are too difficult, they usually fail, and failure causes disappointment and depression. And everybody knows that disappointment and depression are disappointing and depressing.

Let's say, for example, that you're a morbidly obese 68-year-old man who makes a New Year's resolution to become the highest paid female supermodel in history. Well, my friend, I hate to tell you this, but chances are that your resolution will fail miserably, and you'll feel very disappointed and depressed. But if that same morbidly obese 68-year-old man makes and an easier resolution to smoke more cigarettes, avoid exercise, eat more saturated fat, increase his blood pressure, and possibly die of a massive heart attack, chances are quite good that he'll succeed. (Of course, since he'll be dead, he won't be able to enjoy the satisfaction of his achievement.)

Okay, so maybe those examples are a little lame, but that really doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that I've managed to live without sugar for SIX months, and I truly believe that you can do the same thing.

"But, Mark, what are the benefits of giving up sugar?" you ask. That's a great question, and I will answer it by listing a few of the remarkable benefits I've experienced since becoming The Amazing Sugarless Markimus:

• I haven't been sick in six months. No kidding. Not even a cold.
• I've been sleeping much better.
• My short-term memory has improved.
• I have more energy.
• My concentration has improved.
• I can run a mile in less than 30 seconds.
• My short term memory has improved.
• I can lift a school bus over my head.
• I became President of the United States.
• I discovered life on Mars.
• I brought peace to the Middle East
• And last, but not least, my short-term memory has improved.

Yesterday, my daughter told me that she is going to follow my example and attempt to give up sugar. Please feel free to visit her blog and offer words of support and encouragement. She'll need them.

For more information on the harmful effects of sugar, read my review of Sugar Blues by William Dufty: "Mark's Book Club says, 'Drop That Donut'"